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Passive-aggressive is a label given to a person who exhibits certain behavioral characteristics. Passive-aggressive means that a person has manipulative behavioral traits which they will use as a means to get you to agree with them. This manipulative behavior can disguise itself as stubbornness or an unwillingness to agree with others, but in a polite way so you aren’t aware of what they are trying to do. Dealing with a passive-aggressive person can be tricky, but it’s important to not allow yourself to be taken in by this type of behavior. Here are some tips for dealing with a person who exhibits passive-aggressive traits.

In the workplace, a passive-aggressive employee may sulk, or take an excessive amount of time to complete a task as a means of letting their employer know they aren’t happy with their duties. Their ultimate goal is to get their employer to not assign them the same duties in the future. To counteract this behavior, an employer needs to be vigilant, and continue to assign the task whenever appropriate. Setting up consequences for failure to accomplish tasks will send a message to the passive-aggressive employee that their behavior will not be tolerated.

Children also exhibit passive-aggressive behavior. If you’re a parent, you’ve watched your child sulk when they aren’t happy, become stubborn when they don’t want to do what it is they are being asked to do, or blatantly disobey as a way to avoid the task at hand. When a parent gives in to this passive-aggressive behavior it puts the child in control. If it is allowed to continue, these manipulative traits will carry into adulthood. If this happens, the child may find it difficult to maintain employment, have meaningful relationship or even wind up in trouble with the law. Dealing with childhood passive-aggressive behavior isn’t always easy, but it’s important for the child’s own best interests.

Set boundaries in place, and consequences for when the child steps outside of them. Elicit the help of other to help you enforce the consequences. Be sure to reward the child when they stay within the boundaries, and complete tasks. Being diligent and consistent will result in positive results. These same techniques should be used if you are in a relationship with a passive-aggressive individual or if you have a friend who is passive-aggressive.

It’s true that almost everyone exhibits passive-aggressive behavior at some point in their lives or in certain situations. The key to dealing with it is to not allow yourself to be persuaded to do something you wouldn’t normally do, or make choices you wouldn’t normally make.

If you believe that you’re doing the right thing then continue to do it no matter what the passive-aggressive person tells you or how they act. It’s the best thing you can do; not only for yourself, but for them as well.

Trudi Buck provides information on both where and how to obtain a master in counseling.